My Approach

Therapy, counseling, coaching? Regardless of what you call it, counselors and therapists are in the business of helping people improve their lives. That’s our purpose and mission. However, every practitioner is different, so here is a little bit about me and how I work.

Firstly, my approach has been shaped by my educational and professional experience. I received a B.A. in Psychology in 2011 and a M.A. in Counseling and Guidance with an emphasis in Couples and Family Therapy in 2014— both from UMKC. I have over a decade of experience working with adults, adolescents, couples, and families in various settings (community counseling, public school system, and higher education), and I have been in private practice since 2019.

Secondly, if you decide to work with me, you will be provided with a conversational environment where you can engage in open and honest self-exploration. Your agenda is my greatest concern, not mine. It is also worth noting that I use an integrative theoretical framework, which includes Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Existential Therapy, Family Systems Theory, and experiential modalities.

Lastly, I will actively engage the therapeutic process. I often hear from clients that their former therapists “just listened” without providing much feedback. This is not my style. Of course, I don’t have all the answers, but what I will do is help you gain deeper self-understanding, brainstorm hypotheses, come up with new strategies, and analyze outcomes. Compassion and empathy are incredibly important, but they simply aren’t enough. Most people want to live a truly good, meaningful life, which requires real work. It is my job to help you get there.

Therapeutic Topics and How I work

• Relationship Conflict- My instinct is to try to keep couples and families together and work things out. If we can get back to the basics– listening, respectful communication, and compromise– great things will happen. There will be less anger and resentment, and joy can be restored.
• Depression- What’s been on your mind? I want to fully understand this first, then let’s take a look at behavior. Because as much as we feel depressing feelings and think depressing thoughts, our behaviors can play a crucial role in perpetuating depressive cycles. This is why we will take a multi-faceted approach that addresses your emotional experience, belief systems, and behavioral change.
• Loneliness- 1 in 4 Americans report having 0 close relationships, yet we are supposed to be more connected than ever with the internet and social media. This is the mental health issue of our time. Some of us have lost track of how to talk to each other, so let’s learn how. Communication is relationship.
• Anxiety- One’s relationship with uncertainty, worry, and discomfort come into play here. This is the mental component, but anxiety is not just in the mind. It is a dis-ease of the body as well, which means that routine movement, exercise, and meditation can be helpful additions to your anxiety reduction program.
• Substance Abuse- I am open to both the moderation management and abstinence-only models of substance abuse treatment. The most important aspect to determining which is the best fit is to fully and honestly process how drugs and/or alcohol have impacted your life. We will also take a deep dive into how environment, stress, relationships, and routine affect your substance use patterns.
• Career Concerns- Figuring out how you want to spend at least 40 hours a week is a big deal. This is time of your life that you can never get back, so it’s important to get it right. I like to think of careers from a fulfillment perspective that consists of four parts: interests, skills, lifestyle, and values. That’s where the conversation begins.
• Grief and Loss- Losing a loved one can force you into moment-by-moment living, so it is wise to slow down and take things one step at a time. Being patient with the ebb and flow of emotion and cultivating compassion towards yourself are essential. It’s much easier said than done, but I’ll help you learn to trust your natural healing process.
• Trauma- Let’s move at a speed you are comfortable with. This is often a situation where I use lower levels of guidance, and I am constantly mindful of keeping our explorations in the window of tolerance. Wherever you are in the healing process is okay, and when you’re ready, we can begin moving towards greater levels of empowerment.
• Sports and Performance- Does your effort match your goals? Do you struggle with mental toughness? What is holding you back– performance anxiety, fear of failure, fading commitment? These are the types of questions that will propel us forward.

Conclusion

If you have made it this far, thanks for taking a thorough look at my counseling approach. I want to make one last point, though. If you choose me as your counselor, come prepared for a journey. Of course, working on your life is serious business, but it can also be fun, interesting, and profoundly rewarding. It’d be an honor to be a part of the process.

-Scott Thode