I had the idea of writing this post for a while now, but I finally sat down to complete it on June 29. Unexpectedly, my Grandma Thode passed away the day after I wrote the paragraphs below. I thought we had longer—we didn’t. Interesting how life works. Anyway, this is dedicated to Marie Thode. Thank you for a life well lived.

Our senior population has something to offer. Too often, we dismiss them as out of touch or over the hill. They’re not. They just don’t have everything right. But neither do I and, presumably, nor do you. There is something to be said for life experience though. It’s not everything, but it definitely has something to do with credibility, especially in the realm of wisdom.

My grandmothers have that credibility. And that credibility deserves respect.

Both of my grandmothers were born in the rural Midwest during the Great Depression. They were teens by the end of WWII. They were adults when prominent cultural and political figures were assassinated in cold blood. They experienced the unnerving anxiety surrounding countless world events. With dignity, they dealt with health issues, the death of loved ones, and navigated uncertain times the best they could.

Yet, they also found love; they have children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren; they take pride in their work; they embrace the Good that life has to offer.

Like the guy says in the Farmers Insurance commercials, “We know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two.” That describes my grandmothers. It probably describes yours too.

Even in their 90’s, they continue to offer some meaningful life lessons. I could probably keep you here all day, but I picked two in particular that I would like to share, one from each grandmother.

Lesson 1: “I’ve heard a lot of young people these days talk about ‘trying to find themselves.’ If my dad heard me say that, he’d say, ‘it sounds like you need to get to work.’” -Grandma Thode

Sometimes we focus too much on our inner worlds, which can lie at the core of depression and anxiety. We fall into this trap of “finding myself” when there might not actually be a self to find. Think about it: do you ever really find yourself—like the whole thing? No, probably not. So what though? My grandmother’s short anecdote puts the emphasis on action, not so much the mind. In a gentle yet direct way, Grandma Thode would second her father’s words. Get to work. Make a difference. Test yourself a bit. Get out of your head. You find out a lot about yourself through what you do.

Lesson 2: “I’d like them to understand that something natural has happened.” -Grandma Martin

A few years ago, I gathered the courage to ask my Grandma Martin how she would like her family to respond to her death. The quote above was what she told me. She didn’t make it about her, she made it about nature. She said it in the most soothing way too, only as a grandmother can. And I believe her. Life is natural, and since death is a part of life, death must be natural. For some reason, putting it this way helped me develop a deeper acceptance of the inevitable. For sure, death is painful. Grandma knows this as well as anybody. But it’s also a part of something much bigger, much more profound than ourselves.

These lessons will last a lifetime, and they couldn’t have come from better sources. I should add that the wisdom isn’t just in their words— it’s also in their gestures, the look in their eye, and most definitely in their smile. I’m not sure who to attribute this quote to, but it makes sense: “nothing is more beautiful than a smile that has struggled through years and tears.” I agree.