Blink. And it’s 2024. Another presidential election year. Polls show most Americans aren’t happy with our likely choices. Peggy Noonan from the WSJ said it well: Ole Grumpy vs. Ole Crazy. Some may disagree with that characterization but seems about spot on to me.

My field is mental health though, not political punditry, so I’ll stay in my lane.

Not too long ago, we were in the midst of Covid lockdowns, the 2020 election, and social unrest of various forms, all of which had a profound impact on mental health. Unfortunately, the hangover from this chapter in American history hasn’t lifted for a lot of people. Many lives and relationships were torn apart, not to mention the broader divisions in society that were further exposed.

So here we are, still feeling the aftereffects just in time for another exhausting, uncertain, and divisive 2024 presidential election.

I’ve observed a couple common strategies that people use to reduce their anxieties about politics. One, indulge the news. And two, let’s just call it “bury head in sand.” In other words, it’s either all or nothing. One group does “research” as if they are about to make an argument on the senate floor, while the other is resistant to and overwhelmed by any utterance that sounds remotely political. Triggered!

Can we do better? Maybe not. But we should try.

Consider a few questions. 1. What role should politics have in our relationships with others? 2. How much time should we spend on matters that are outside of our control? 3. How should we cope with political uncertainty?

Here are some ideas. I’ll take it from the top.

The role politics should play in our relationships obviously depends on the relationship. So maybe we start with asking whether it should play any role at all before we proceed. People often run this decision through the filter of agreement, which is to talk politics if and only if you know the person you’re talking to agrees. That doesn’t seem quite right. A better filter is conversational style. Start with evaluating your own communication tendencies, then the other person’s. If you’re not convinced there’s a conversational match, it’s still okay to test the waters as long as you have an exit plan.

Regardless, it’s important to keep perspective. Most relationships aren’t worth ruining over politics. If it’s fun or interesting or all parties like a good intellectual spar, that’s one thing. But if it’s destructive, there are probably other things to talk about.

Question two is more generic but relevant to politics as well. Focusing on matters outside of our control can be a distraction from things in our lives that need to be addressed. Maybe you’ve heard or said something like this before: “the world is falling apart, so what difference does it make?” Which is then followed by a long-winded explanation about how everything is screwed up. The result is feeling hopeless, out of control, and psychologically paralyzed.

Okay fair, you and I don’t control the quality of the world, but we do maintain some control over the quality of our own life. Let’s not lose focus on that, while also being reasonably informed about what’s going on in government. So maybe that’s a basic standard to keep in mind. “Reasonably informed,” opposed to obsessively informed or not informed at all. Like most things, find a balance.

This brings me to the third question: how should we cope with political uncertainty? How about sanely. Beware of the tricks that the passions play. Even if we need to stand for something, we should be mindful of whether our passion has become a distraction to our message. Beyond valuing basic sanity, let’s keep living our lives. Eat a good meal, exercise, meditate, go to work, pursue social connection, and keep our households in order no matter what’s on the news, what your uncle thinks, or even who ultimately wins the election.

I’ll end with this. It’s likely the case that the 2024 election process will be a very, very wild ride. Not to be flippant, but so what. My job is still to manage me, and your job is still to manage you. Keep that in mind, and we’ll be just fine.