Christmas, for complicated reasons, can be a complicated time of the year. You have your reasons, and I have mine. We all have our ways of seeing things, right?

But what if we can simplify a bit? This is an option. Even during the holidays.

Remember, saying “no” doesn’t make you the Grinch. It means you have boundaries. And boundaries are healthy.

Maybe you don’t have to do every single tradition. Maybe you take some moments to sit back and just observe. Maybe you don’t demand of yourself that you be happy every second. Maybe you cut yourself some slack. Maybe you become an imperfectionist.

What is this holiday about for you? This is a good question to ask. Be real. Be honest—at least with yourself.

The pressure of Christmas can be a lot.

Sure, pressure makes diamonds, but it also crushes things. If you thrive under the pressure, be the diamond. If you are being crushed by the pressure, hit the release valve. Paper plates and pizza are wonderful too.

How do you feel during the holiday season?

Whatever it is, don’t try to force yourself into feeling the “Christmas spirit.” We both know this doesn’t really work. Feel what you need to feel. But please consider this friendly reminder… Think before you act. It’s usually not a bad idea.

Sometimes Christmas leads us to reflect on relationships. Some that are still here. Others that have gone.

For those who have passed or moved on, remember them and miss them, if appropriate. Sadness can be a healthy and natural biproduct of having the courage to love another.

For those who are still here, it’s nice to see them—even if it’s once or twice a year. Nothing wrong with that. But maybe, with the pandemic and all, some connections have fallen to the wayside. This could be a good time to pick those back up.

Lastly, your needs matter and “self-care” is not cliché. I get it. Christmas is “the season of giving.” Just please don’t forget to give yourself what you need to make the best out of this often complicated and joyful and difficult and merry time of the year.