When we’re little, we start learning about our body parts. We even sing songs about them—”Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes,” “The Hokey Pokey,” and others. Very early in life, we physically locate ourselves in the world by naming what’s part of us, and our social environment reinforces this curiosity.

But what about the parts of the mind?  

We might get vague hints that the mind has something like parts. Many of us are exposed to the idea, in one way or another, that the “head” and “heart” can be in conflict. Or we notice that sometimes we think or feel one thing but say or do another. But mostly, we go through life using our mental head, shoulders, knees, and toes… without ever realizing we have them.

Granted, the mind is more complicated and abstract, so educational songwriters have their work cut out for the psychological version of “The Hokey Pokey” (as long as they don’t use ChatGPT). Even so, there’s a real need for clearer ways to understand our inner worlds and to see our mind and “self” as made up of many parts working together.

There’s a therapy called Internal Family Systems (IFS), which is relevant to this topic. Basically, IFS proposes that our mind is not a single, unified voice, but rather, an internal community or family made up of distinct parts, each with its own role, perspective, and emotions. It’s important to note that we shouldn’t take “parts” terminology too literal. This isn’t the same as identifying specific brain regions. What therapies like IFS do, though, is help us both name and develop a healthier relationship with inner tendencies that otherwise leave us feeling confused and fragmented.

Although I accept the core premises of IFS, I am not a big fan of the verbiage it uses to describe the parts of the mind (such as managers, fire fighters, exiles, etc.). Therapy, in general, often has a relatability problem. A lot of the language we use ends up sounding painfully cringey or overly clinical. In my humble opinion, IFS has more of the cringey vibe.

Thus, here’s my attempt to name some of the core parts of the mind hopefully using more straightforward language.

• Vulnerable Self: This part of the mind holds our emotional sensitivities, deepest values and beliefs, unmet needs, fears, insecurities, and significant past memories. I want to make it clear that the Vulnerable Self doesn’t just store “negative” contents, which can be overemphasized in other models. Rather, it stores meaningful contents—which can be positive, negative, or a mix of both.
• Defense System: This part of the mind perceives threats (both internal and external) and protects the Vulnerable Self. It includes what are commonly known as our defense mechanisms. The patterns of the Defense System have a natural pull towards what’s emotionally familiar and habitual, not necessarily what’s most effective.
• Rational Mind: This part of the mind is knowledgeable, reasonable, and practical. It helps us think critically, make plans, analyze situations, and solve problems. However, it’s susceptible to being hijacked by an outdated Defense System (often from childhood) by rationalizing unhelpful patterns under the guise of logic.
• Wise Mind: This part integrates the other parts of the mind into a coherent whole and can guide behavior accordingly. That said, the Wise Mind can be limited when other parts dominate or are cut off, which is quite common. In order to function optimally, the Wise Mind must have access to the Vulnerable Self, an understanding of the Defense System, and receive input from the Rational Mind. It’s most readily available when we are calm, but with practice, it can be utilized in stressful situations as well.

This is by no means an exhaustive list. It’s just a starting point. What other parts of the mind are there?

The main goal here is to see our mind as a system of interconnected parts. This helps us work with, not against, our inner contradictions. It also reduces judgment and opens space to explore the deeper meanings of our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

So, instead of just beating ourselves up for the last dumb thing we did, we can begin asking: What part of me is this serving?