Negativity is everywhere. Why is this? Is it because the world is just a negative place? Does everything really suck?

Probably not. It just seems that way.

I recently read an interesting article about what philosopher Agnes Callard refers to as the uni-context, and it makes some real sense. The basic idea is that social media has become “a single, global room” where we all have access to more people than ever before. So, to stand out in this massive social context, users are incentivized to appeal to abnormally large audiences by historical standards. One of the effects is an increased emphasis on negativity, which tends to be more universal, more easily understood, and more attention-grabbing than positivity. In part (at least for those on social media AKA the uni-context), this explains why seemingly everything is falling apart, everyone has a disorder, no one ever makes a smart decision, and everyone is married to a narcissist. Want attention? Go negative.

Fascinating theory.  Yet regardless of the why, it’s clear people tend to overindulge negativity, which disconnects us from the reality of positivity. Let me repeat that: the reality of positivity.

I use the word reality because I want to make it clear that we do not need to bullshit ourselves in order to be more positive. We can make actual contact with reality and still offer, or at least consider, legitimate positive perspectives. In other words, think of what I am suggesting as pursuing reasonable positivity.

Contrary to casual positive thinking, reasonable positivity involves serious thought. It’s a rational connection with what is actually positive, whether it’s your relationships, job, a cultural issue, the state of the world, or almost any circumstance of being human. This isn’t to say your final conclusion has to be overwhelmingly optimistic. Rather, it’s to get in the habit of making an honest attempt at analyzing how a seemingly negative thing may be good in some ways and/or offer you an opportunity to grow.

This may be a familiar analogy, but it’s relevant. Positivity is like a muscle. Particularly, it reminds me of developing the muscle memory required to be able to dribble a basketball with both hands. If I can only dribble with my right hand, which way am I always going to go? Right, right? Similarly, if all I do is go negative, which direction am I always going to go? I think you get my point. Practicing positivity makes us a more dynamic player in the game of life.

I’d like to make the concept even more concrete. Consider something you are struggling with. It can be anything, just give it a shot. Now seriously analyze these two questions (no dismissiveness allowed):

1. What good might I be overlooking?
2. How can this help me grow?

No bullshit needed. Just honesty and curiosity. The thought process you are engaging in is making actual contact with reality. Again, reasonable positivity builds a force that pushes up against the seductive nature of negativity and, worse, cynicism. With practice, the illusion that negativity is the only dimension of reality will fade.

One more thought. Practice requires conscious effort. It’s not easy, and it’s not meant to be. But as a recovering pessimist, I can attest to the benefits of this work. The practice of positivity, especially for those who are more inclined to go negative, brings balance and flexibility to our perspectives and, consequently, improves our wellbeing. Sighs and eye rolling aside, perhaps your practice can begin today.